OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
