he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
someone owes me an orgasm
Swine flu is the new snow day.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
