I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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