But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize