Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
