Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This house was built for laser tag.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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