sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
