i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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