Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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