No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
