there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
