Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just had sex bonerless
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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