I'm really into asian looking animals
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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