yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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