Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
