my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
