PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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