my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
