That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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