So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
