Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
