The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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