and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
