I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
