My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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