i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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