i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
