so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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