Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
