yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
