I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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