So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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