He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
