Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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