Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
