yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
