So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
