Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
