I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
