Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
