Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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