I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
