I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
