Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
