The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
