Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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