you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
