I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I will pee on everything he values.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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