Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He better not be in your backpack
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
