So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
