Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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