I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
